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Monday, May 31st, 2010
3:28 pm - Dream Entry
Ever had a dream that just seemed to last forever? A lifetime going before you in the span of a night? This was one of those nights. Everything was so clear and vivid, from waking up the following night to the years that passed on. I had left the military behind and tried to make it back to a "normal" life, which means moving around a lot for me.

After several trial and error attempts at locations and people a friend and I ended up moving to England to try something new. It was there I discovered that working multiple jobs at a time sucks, I really miss bbq, and the love of a good woman. Granted she was fictional, it felt real at the time. And so time passed. The roots were digging deeper and deeper and there was something that was feeling like a home.

Then the wedding. I never felt like that before. Looking back it seems rather sad that it was all just imaginary and the feelings were too. But it was nice and a home was found. Shortly after the home came the family. A daughter, looked like her mother. And further more the years went by. Six years more to be exact. She was six years old when she was killed. Now that feeling... I'm glad it was all just a dream. But a life time of emotions, up and down, experienced in my mind in a night. If I wasn't already inane that might have driven me to it.

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Sunday, February 14th, 2010
7:09 pm - I lost to Pound Puppies....
HOW?!

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Sunday, January 24th, 2010
7:33 pm - Religious thoughts...
So today something got my brain moving and I thought I would share it with you all so that I could get your take on it. Perhaps displaying an angle I hadn't yet thought of or the like. Now according to the tale that most of us know it was the archangel Michael who chased Lucifer from Heaven. It was God's decree for the actions that Lucifer had done but it was Michael who carried out the sentence. Now my question is "Why?". God obviously had the power with which to handle the situation. Most likely in a manner that would not have endangered any, such as Michael. But yet He did not do it. Did God still love Lucifer? Was He not able to raise a hand to the one who was closest to Him?

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Thursday, January 14th, 2010
12:24 pm - One Step Closer To Discharge
Friends. Romans. Countrymen. Lend me a couch and a job.

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Monday, January 11th, 2010
5:56 am - Dream Entry
Surrounded by the dead I began to digg graves, only one of which would be my own. Incorporeal task masters inflicting images of death and pain to drive me. Much harsher than the lash ever could be. Each grave christened with my own tears of agony and the blood from my worked hands as they claw at the earth to make more resting places. Faster, I'm commanded, faster for the the graves must be completed before the others arrive. My flesh is peeling from my very fingertips but still I stab at the dirt with them to stop the images.

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Friday, December 11th, 2009
6:55 pm - Important!
So today I found out a few important things. They are of such grave import that I must tell everyone about them. First off, there is still a Black Knight. Yes, the noble of both fear and mockery does truely exist. They are currently onto the 29th incarnation of the Knight of Glin, Sir Desmond FitzGerald who was born in 1937. The other piece of important news is that despite his years and his wife he has yet to produce a son, having had three daughters. At this point in his life he is very unlikely, without the assistance of science, to produce a male heir who will carry on the title of Knight. By the way, the line and position has never been refered to as "Sir Desmond" when in the presence of other nobility. The current Knight of Glin has always been called Knight. Seems rather amazing to me. Anyways, that is the news I found out. I worry for the line of the Black Knight. The White Knight line became extinct and it seems this one will too. Le-sigh

current mood: sad

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Saturday, December 5th, 2009
8:37 am - Bits and pieces of a dream
Been awhile since I had the chance to sit down and type out the images in my head so I hope I can do this fast enough before the images turn into vapor. To start out it seems that "magic" is real in the world. I state it thus cause it's not magic in the traditional sense but more rewriting reality by bits and piecs, like Mage or Nightwatch. Shit, already having trouble recalling things. Sometimes I think my brain does that to hide something from me.

Anyways I am apparently a great will force, though still kept in check by forest spirits. Especially a Spider one who caught me, wrapped me up, and was planning to fear me to it's children. The only way I got out was annoying Beetle to such a degree that he came fought Spider to get me. I was able to get free during the fight and helped Spider defeat Beetle. After it was done Spider agreed to let me go but I still had to do him a favor, which was blow up the Autozone could be seen through all the trees. I agreed and suddenly a gas truck swerves and hits the store and goes boom with everyone able to get out somehow.

It was then that Spider was replaced by this girl I was with and we continued on our quest. There were some akward things that happened that I can't really grasp right now but eventually we found the book we needed from the college library that was hidden there. The problem was we found it two days late and I had no way to go back through time. That is until I felt someone start to shift through time and grabbed him through the ether and pulled him to the girl and I.

He explained that he could time shift but only two hours backwards or forwards and it took a week to recharge but would be willing to help if he could. So with that I pulled out my knife and cut open the sleeve on his right arm so I could see his forearm. It was then he changed his mind about helping but I wasn't listening. There were small circular scars all over his arm, like scarred bug bites, so I drug the knife to a few of them based off of some magical calculation I had done and suddenly got thrown back into my waking body. So now I'm here. Bookless and womanless. And yes, I looked around my room for them. Ha

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Thursday, December 3rd, 2009
7:57 pm
So it seems like it has been forever and a day since my last post. I would go and check but really not caring that much right now. Which is true about most things these days. I was feeling a little low before Thanksgiving and after having gone home I now feel very low. All the things I joined the Army for are happening without me. Job offers coming left and right where there were none before. And things I actually want to do, which is odd in it's self. Instead I'm trading off for a possible future and crazy ventures dreamed up between my battle buddies and I.

Ok, very distracted and can't remember where I was going with that thought. Sorry, these days my mind tends to wander. It's this training we are going through. It turns the brain into mush. And not even good mush. Like second-hand third-world mush. If only I could just take time to recoup. Both my body and my mind as both are now broken. Sad thing is that I don't have time to heal up either parts for a long time. And like anythign broken, when pushed it just gets more and more broken. Yeah me.

So much I wish to type here just to be able to say it out loud, as it were, but none of these thoughts can really be made manifest into words. And even the ones that can be aren't really good for people here to see. I don't know what is a sign of more, the fact that I do things that I know others won't approve of and do not care or that I don't fully trust those around me to know the things that run through my head and the spots where I my fingerprints have been left. Some day we will do.

Well I think I'm done for now. Back to bednad thinking of things and people I shouldn't. I should never have asked. One day I will learn. Just... not anytime soon.

current mood: exhausted

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Wednesday, October 14th, 2009
3:05 am
Tonight I had a dream that I kept waking up from. Well, that isn't exactly right. At the begining I was in this world but something about it seemed wrong so I fell down to go to sleep where I was standing and as soon as I hit ground I "woke up" in another world. I kept doing this over and over, waking up in different places, different lives, and different situations trying to find the one that felt right. It wasn't until the fourth "wake up" that I was waking up as different people, taking over their lives. Going from person to person to find what felt good even with the knowledge it wasn't me that the life was for.

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Saturday, October 3rd, 2009
9:50 am

ColorQuiz.com So I took a personality test and this is what it has to say. Sadly it is too close to the real answer and makes me want to slap a piece of code.

""Feels that nothing can upset him or phase him and..."


Click here to read the rest of the results.


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Sunday, September 13th, 2009
2:56 am
So odd things that have happened since I have gotten to smart school. Drinking with Danny Trejo. Random drunken limo rides. Watching a friend getting bit by a Mexican. My roommate massages a very large Marine. Someone accidently set on fire because they were trying to ligh their lighter to cheer on a musician. So damn odd.

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Tuesday, September 8th, 2009
3:56 pm - Too many thoughts...
Of women from the past. Of friends from the past. Of those who have managed to bring hatred out in me. Ghe plus side of the military is the mindset of some people. Especially those who are combat certified and ready to train at all times. Makes for a good stress relief. But it cast a sad shadow on my actions to think that those people bring about that reaction, no, that need. When nothing is solved. My friend and finish and go about our ways. I limp. I ache. I cry. I go through the thought process again tomorrow. All because I can't turn my back on people. Those who have taken nothing but steps from my side for years and still I call to them. Still I wait. And still I burn.

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Thursday, September 3rd, 2009
6:33 pm - The mind....
Ever been in a situation that was so stressfull that you just NEEDED a cigarette? Bad blood with friends, disturbing news, or just going through something dramatic? Well I had that kidn of moment, but not how you think. Remember, I'm not that plain. I had a dream that was so real and so stressfull I woke up saying "Damn, I need a cigarette". My roommate just looked at me and said ".....But you don't smoke." I could only answer "I know!"

Aside from that army schoolin' is going ok. Not the highest average in class but damn close. Guess I could get the highest if I actually studied. May have to learn how to do that. Just take time away from my busy schedule of doing things I probably shouldn't. Still trying to find a way to stop going after people I shouldn't. Long road that.

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Sunday, July 26th, 2009
1:06 am - Passed Basic Training
With SIX stress fractures in a leg. Rock on me! Haha

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Saturday, January 24th, 2009
11:39 am - Black DYNAMITE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NnD9QBMklj8

Blaxplotation never looked so bad ass, you jive fool!

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7:17 am - I gots a new job
Let us pray

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Saturday, January 17th, 2009
9:01 am - Help me win a contest?
http://www.hookahgiveaway.com

Alright everyone, this one is an easy one. I just need all of you to sign up for this one simple site, sign on once, and forget about. Or become more active in it if you like. On the first of Feb I will either bless you or curse you, haha. Simply put Gas Station Guru in the "How did you hear about Hookah Giveaway?" field when you sign up, and thats it! Oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please. Haha

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Thursday, December 25th, 2008
6:52 am - Mel's engaged
To some that means nothing. To others that means too much. Bye

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Tuesday, December 23rd, 2008
11:31 am - Less pixelized picture of my tattoo

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Friday, December 12th, 2008
6:39 am - Stolenness
1. Put your iTunes/iPod/whatever music player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!



IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Shut Up And Drive - Deftones


WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
7 Words - Deftones

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Just Pretending - Mushroomhead


HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Kill Tomorrow - Mushroomhead


WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
People=Shit - Slipknot


WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Under My Skin - Mudvayne

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Flow of Scotland - Alestorm


WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Paperdoll - Kittie


WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Through Glass - Stone Sour


WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Love's Tragedy Asunder - Demons and Wizards


WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
A World So Cold - Mudvayne


WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Sleeping Giant - Mastodon


WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Hunting Song - Korpiklaani


WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Here In My Room - Incubus


WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Killers Are Quiet - Slipknot


WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Can't Even Breathe - Deftones


WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Wenches and Mead - Alestorm


WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Into The Darkness - Kittie


WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
My Damnation - Static X


WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Before I Die - Mushroomhead

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Hell and Consequences - Stone Sour


DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Black and White - Static X


IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Wait and Bleed - Slipknot


WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Do What You Do - Mudvayne
(Worst part, that song does piss me off right now)

Any comments? Hehe

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